Friday, May 30, 2014

Hindsight

I can feel your
flaws
slide along my skin
and while
my logic dictates
that they will break me
My emotions stand
super glue
duct tape
and Kleenex in hand
because masochists
pose as love

You are human
willing to use every
natural resource
I have to offer
I am gaia
to your industrial
revolution
You will kill me
slow
Celebrate me
Keeping up appearances
You will donate generously
to my well-being
while slipping the
poison of your latest
conquest into
my ocean wide

And I will still
love you
Or so I think
I will love you
so much I'll hate myself
Clutching
the handful of razor
blades you gave me
disguised as roses
to my chest
Hands soaked
in red

With each drip
you'll paint masterpieces
that I will caption
and you'll
slip them like silk
into the ear
of someone
with less to offer
but takes less
to impress

I will lose
pieces of myself
repairing your holes
Patching up
the shotgun blast
the last woman
served to your soul
These lips
will be the balm
to every scar

I will transform
for you
I will wear
the physical attributes
of every woman
you put before me
just so you can notice me
Everything you claimed
to love
will be replaced
by that for which
you lust

I will build
our fairy tale
happily ever after
upon the unsteady foundation
of some day
Pay no mind
to the magician doing
tricks with our house of
cards
He's simply an illusion
of my delusion

I have read the tarot
Star-cross'd we are
Tangled in a web
of needing to fill
insecure voids
You need to be a man
I need to be needed

Our angry screams
will rent this single bedroom
home
but will they repair
the door I just slammed
or the wall
you punched your
frustration into

Suddenly
the cheap rock
on my hand feels
like preparing to serve
a sentence in
Alcatraz

You'll ask
how I can be
so accepting
of unborn curses
How I can feel
God ripping life
from me
and find
peace in my pain

When have you ever
bestowed a blessing
onto me

I'll think
you are god given
solace
but eventually
I'll learn
how to recognize
the trail of sulfur the
devil leaves behind

When this is over
I will be jaded
I will learn to use you
as you used them
and you will be confused
and hurt
when you find you're
not the only one

I will puncture your
chest with lies
and the truth in my final blow
will bring you
to your knees

I don't love you
anymore
You no longer have
a hold on me
There are no more
tears for you
No more screams
left in these lungs
No more anger
balled up in fists

This is the last time
ink will caress a page for you
This piece
is place our past will rest in

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